My computer wanna play with me....ARGH!

I thought last night was bad...today is WORST! came back from coll to find my hardisk dead...so i had to restart my pc...and DING!~ i find my whole user profile screwed...lost all my data on my desktop and in my documents....now all my projects...and stuff are gone...due date is freaking near...and how the hell am i gonna do it in less then a month?

Sigh...how bad can things get?i got assignment to hand in tomorow and ive not done anything...2 day after that i got another 2 more assignments...oh my lord...im so so dead...shit! why must i always be this lazy...someone should come smack me and kill me or someting.

Sigh...im so so lost now...i wanna talk to sherina...but...things arent possible...oh well..i guess i have to face things myself...

Frustration...argh~!

Sigh...i got no idea what has happen to me...my heart feels heavy im irritated with my college work...i dont seem to get to do my project and its not going anywhere...a few more assignments are gonna reach its due date...the preasure is starting to rise again...exams are near...i wont have time to study...damn...what the fuck is gonna happen this year end.

Im really irritated at the moment i don't know what should i do or who should i talk to...there dosn't seem like theres anyone available to talk to...sigh...i think ill just go to bed and hope to feel better the next day.

Amazing how can people grow...

Innocents... its something we all grow out of..amazing isnt it how we were born into this world and as we grow we are like a sponge to bad habbits and bad ethics. The other day i was thinking back when i was a kid and how i use to get nightmares, the next thing would to be going to my parents bedroom and sleeping beside my father. I think i would feel more secure and stuff like that...but then as we grow up like now...a nightmare doesn't really scares us anymore, we can just wake up and then go back to sleep. Could it be we have develope stronger courage?

Life's full of fears...how do we actually face it each day? As for me...i just face it though im totally freak out...but stuff like being hurt through love seems to take more courage then asking me to jump off a building with a bungee cord. Sometimes looking at our parents ...how they face stress..how their protect their family...dont they feel scared? Does courage emerge when something is at crisis?

Just miss those times when our minds were so innocent and a simple comic or a sweet could really make my day...everything was problem free noting else matter...no gals..no love..nothing as long as i have my sweet..or toy..and my parents around me. As i grow older i seem to be further or want to be further from my parents...is this the process of growing? We talk less..we argue more...im pretty sure im not the only one facing this problem...but theres also those that still treat their parents with respect and care...but i just dont seem to be able to do it. Its like its not me....

Cried myself to sleep...

Bad night it has been...as i was trying so hard to get myself to sleep....suddenly memories of Sabrina came into my head...how we met..what happen and how she left. Moments spend with her were really sweet and happy...though it was rather painful at the end. Somehow history seems to be repeating itself just that this time its slightly more painful and things aren't that good.

Finally asleep, somehow my mind is very much awake...kept thinking about class for the next day. Which eventually i had to get up and then check my time table and silly me...its Tuesday and im off. Why didn't i know that?Was my mind too fucked up to think straight?Oh wells im already awake, i wonder what is there i can do at this time of the day. Maybe ill go back to sleep n try to do something useful later in the day which i doubt that i will.

How could my love life suck when im not even in love? I had this words running through my mind when i was in the "conscious" stage "fate exist as faith remains" hmm...why am i always believing and relyin on fate? Answer is out there...somewhere..

Happiness don't last???

For some reason somehow im getting alot moody at night lately....cant sleep properly, feeling really restless and im so lost...damn i feel as though i just broke up with some girl...which i didn't *grins*

i wonder how long am i gonna be in this state again. At this rate im starting to repeat my past. The other weird thing is the urge for me to pick up my yoyos again. For some weird reason im starting to play but still am pretty lazy to touch my bag...too much work to do if i were to start to clean them...should i get myself involve again?since im single and i dont have much things to do on weekends...but then my dad would be making hell lots of noise. hmmm....

oh well....let bygones be bygones...or what so ever...im sick of people using me...im sick of christians that bug me to go to church...im sick of people who seem holy but are infact a devil...sigh...

Nice gals still exist...i found a rare species!

Just as i thought a miserable day would have started...i find a friend who i've met online, talked to her and somehow asked her out for lunch. She agreed so yea...washed up and all...and off to subang parade. Though i knew i could not make it in time, i use my excellent brains which rot decades ago find the shorted and fastest way to subang, but there just had to be traffic to make me even late...urgh...but no fear...a lil speeding could save me some time...and so i speed like a mad moo moo...but unfortunately i used up too much brain power..i forgot that, the stretch of road would have some speed trap...and i fell for it...oh well...paid 50 bucks and im off again hehe...

so yea...didnt imagine i could actually click pretty well with her...and we sat there at dome for 6 hours...was a pretty intresting experience...as ive not talked to someone that long in any place. Somehow i told her quite abit about my life...or should i say my miserable past, which was not really me to tell someone who i just met. Maybe its that warm feeling i get from her that makes me wanna share whats within me. To conclude she was a good listener...and also an extremly sweet gal. I've not seen a gal who could be so thoughtful in her gift for her boyfriend. I thought this kind of people only exist in my dreams. Im glad to have met someone like that today...and im glad to have her as my fren....so a saman and a long lunch and skiped class was well worth it afterall.

quote:
"fate brings people togather
what happens after that is base on what you want it to be
to seperate or to get togather is what you decide
as long as fate has done its part
the rest is for you to decide."


meeting a stranger in a cafe
not knowing of what may appear
knowing very little of her
makes me shiver in fear

turning out to look like an angel
a pretty face to melt my heart
as we got to know each other better
a sweeter part of her appear

my perception on people has changed
knowing that there is still hope
but the search is a long journey
as long as fate remainns
everything would never be the same

Ben

The good the bad the tired ~_~"

Suprisingly fate didn't allow me to send a 3 page long sms to her....else we wouldn't meet up today. Somehow things went from good to bad..and recovered in time...im pretty happy that things are back to normal...or atleast not at that bad situation,now i can sleep properly and soundly without waking up in the middle of the night.

Cant believe i stayed up for 2 days and can be drinking at the same time...my hang overs are driving me insane...but i manage to complete her work for her intime...so its a good thing...haha at this moment im still feeling drowzy...eyes are starting to play tricks on me already LOL.

i better go off and bath then get some shut eyes...or ill get into some accident tommorow. Don't think i wanna live to see my car this time...

nitez!

WHO AM I?

tytons...
a name i gave myself...
to me its a symbol of courage...dedication...honour and respect earned...
have to say...i should start giving myself a new name...i dont think i deserve this name
ive lost my courage...ive no decication..i think i still got my honour...atleast i fight for wats right...but respect....im beginning not to respect myself no more.

today i lost a friend...why?well...cos of my mouth...tho i didn't mean any harm..but its translated wrongly...and thats it.Everything just disapear in a matter of seconds.im so fucked up...i have to try to stay focus...atleast try to get my fucking degree...i think that should be my main priority...

may god bless me...