The return

I don't know how long am i going to go on blogging but i took about an hour plus to delete all old post that i made which i think should be erase from my life.A new beginning shall begin and tho lots of stuff has happen throughout these months and still some things remains the same...for example my results...they are still dropping...but i believe its time for me to wake up and start caring for myself.

Being selfish to myself and caring too much about others isn't going to bring me to a happy future.Time to wake up Ben..tho i've said this many times...but this time i have to...i don't know how am i gonna enter uni but i should..somemore my future pretty much depends on it.By erasing all post and clearing my blog history i suppose this is gonna be somesort of a new beginning, atleast i hope it would.

I've learn that frens are not what we really need in life, as i know they come and go..its just a matter of time of how fast they go.People leaving the country and returning with just glimps of memory about you.Some would just not forigve you for a simple misunderstanding.I don't know what went wrong with my conversation with a gal i just met not too long ago, her name shall be disclose...but just as i was starting to think that shes someone who i can share my heart out with...it turns out that she was sensitive too...and somehow her words seem to hurt me...which normally no one could say anyting that can hurt me.

Its been 2 days since i send her the email and i know that she checked her mail and friendster..but im not sure if she opened my mail or just deleted it. I don't think i would call her for these few days, im just afraid what she say might hurt me.Ive rejected so many offers to go to church and all...but i don't know why i went to her church gathering...was it because of her? conclusion wise...i won't convert i don't see a good reason why should i...most born buddhist convert because they lack knowledge in their own religion...and because we dont have a holy book to guide us through our lives...but to me...it comes down to supreme being...which is God.

i wish myself luck and i wish myself all the best...its only me who can help myself...and there wouldnt be anyone who would walk the journey with me...

life isnt a fairy tales where happy ending always come true.