stop blogging for a day and im back...hehe...wasnt really in the mood to blog...didnt have much to say anyway...hmm got a msg from my former boss from the toy store (Toyzbar), he said he needed people to perform or something for disney channel malaysia and ask me if i would go in...by the way i perfrom yoyo stuff...i wonder what he wants this time.

was just thinking last night...how do you know you really love someone and how do you know shes THE ONE?Is it that feeling...or could it be ur sixth sense? they say gals sixth sense is more accurate...so does this mean a guys one is not? so how is he gonna know is thats the gal for him? gals love to ask...am i the ONE for you n etc...if lie to them...most probably you can tell her goodbye..so how you gonna tell her? I dont know? she'll get even mad...haha..strange things i think at times....but then again...it depends on the individual your with.

im still lazying around at home...man why cant i just walk out and get a proper job.Im so darn lazy, no wonder i dont suceed in anything....what happen to me ... i use to want to do the best in everything i do...but now...im slowly giving up on everything i do.I dont remembering saying i give up.

hmmm dont tell me that after quiting scouts for a period of time i lost my strenght and courage to face problems?Does that uniform change me? Though i do admid i feel slightly different when i put it on...its like i have more self control....er...maybe not all the time..but most of the time.

work my ass off for all those badges...and made my uniform heavier and heavier...LOL.mmm im bragging bout myself haha..isnt that what blogs are meant for?haha...

ahh...anyway i stop here tonight...cant go on talking crap all night..might kill someone whos reading this.
nitez..

Ahhh back to blogging....atleast now im feeling less tense...after my resit yesterday.All i have to do now is to pray and hope i do not fail...man this sucks big time...still cant believe my record breaking results...as in during my college time...cant compare to secondary school...heheh its worse there.Ah well..i guess im gonna be back to my daily routine...that is...play fwo all day again.

I might wana try get a job, kinda broke now..have no cash to even drive out hahaha...i wonder what can i do this time...coaching yoyo again?hmmm data entry? probably ill drop by at those head hunting company...see what can i do there...hopefully it isnt just some sales job.

not much i can say as ive not been doing much today besides playing computer games...nitez!

went to college today to pay for my resit...and i went into the library searching for books on HTML and PHP....i dont believe im actually going there to get books.Anyway i couldnt borrow them cos my semester has end and i got to pay my fees before i can use the library.

came back and played abit of FWO and then back to my studying which didnt really succeed...sigh....im a bloody pathetic dude who cant concerntrate on my studies....got to remind myself about being mature...what sook peng said was right....i got to start caring about myself.

ok....i wont write long as i got no much time till my test....all the best BEN!

well......spend my whole morning till afrernoon trying to get into fungwan(an online game) did study a lil....and was busy doing this stupid blog page...cant get the auto refresh to work right....suppose to refresh the tag board...but instead it refresh the whole page. well atleast it refreshes.

i dont think ill write alot today...kinda bored and lost the mood for creative wrting...hehehe calling myself vreative i guess.went loking at other bloggers page today...some had really nice design.I wonder why is it my page is always with plain colors....is my life that plain?

hope to have a great dream tonight and to pass my nightmare resit...i wish myself luck

nitez.......

i'll try not make my day sound like a total failure...i tried to study as usual..and i did...a lil, which wasnt good..my resit is wednesday which is 3 days from now.Ben you got to start reading and not be online...what are you doing now blogging your way with your book on your lap.sheesh...stupid boy!

sook peng called back after i called her today...was feeling really bored and all..kinda happy she called...as usual she would try to "lecture" me....which i dont consider that as lecture but as "advise". Since 1999 shes been helping me in my studies...as in by giving advise.something she said today woke me up.....to be mature you got to do things for yourself and not for someone else.

after i got with my 1st girlfriend in secondary 5 my results went up tremendously and i though i have grown up or something...but all this while ive been doing everything for her and not myself.i wanted to study harder to be able to get a better job to get with her in future...and i knew that her parents wouldnt like a drop-out as an in-law.so all this stuff ive done for her has not really made me mature ....so what do you call this? cant be inmature...maybe stupidity?

ah well got to get back to my studyin...giving me headache facing the monitor almost the whole day

just went through sabrina,seyin,ky and nicky's blog page....wow....they all look good...seems like im the only lazy idiot here that doesnt do much to my own page...so poorly maintain and all...its gettin late now...havent really studied all day, as usual i got distracted again.gotto start doing someting fast or ill end up regreting alot.

nite all...sweet dreams

hmmm havent even though about bloggin until recently when i saw rebecca's bloggin page on tv...guess ill drop by to write a few lines....things just get worse in life dont they? reading through my last few post...i realise that i have damn bad english...man i hardly know what am i writing there.....

ive not been doing well in my exams...failed 2 sujects and have to repeat 1 subject...man i suck...why on earth am i doing all this hmmm got to try to study now...resit for the other subject is on wed...the 25th....