question..?

why do i blog?why dont i feel like blogging anymore these years?i dont blog to seek attention from people..infact most of the people i know dont even know i have a blog...so i guess it also means that i dont need to keep it updated constantly. I think the issue here is why am i blogging once in a blue moon then? Its not like theres any readers out there...or its not my so called duty to do it...

hmmm i guess im confusing myself now. Its been months since ive last blogged, and to see my last post was before i saw joe's concert. It was a good concert..one of my very 1st as well i guess. To know that i dont have much happy stuff on my blog really makes me seem like a pathetic person...to read my own blog saddens me...if there's such a word.

theres a saying about how bad luck and good luck comes in a cycle of five years..how true it is..i dont know...but the other day..i was counting back on my miserable years...suprisingly..it does adds up to five years...and this coming year...shall prove if its true..or im just superstitious.

theres so much that has happen in this last 2 months...alot of magical moments as well as not so good moments i would say. thinking back of what has happen to me in uk..and how i left yee kuan out of my life...to know that the world is forever materialistic..no matter what. To see how people grow old and die and to know that im still an idiot to not appreciate life as it is.

Its not all myself to be blame, but im still going on...and thats the challenge ive accepted and will. The lil scout moto in me still stays. I will try to strive as far as i can to reach a goal and not be looked down no more from anyone but at times i feel its pointless to prove myself. yee kuan has given me alot of hopes and dreams once...taken it away in a few short sentence as well...how badly her words hurt me...still rings in my head...and i still felt the pain i did at that time. To know she was doing it for my sake and to know that i would never talked to her again till i archieve something in life really makes it a "never".

i wont be filling in much details on what has happen to me after i stop blogging the last time. Maybe if someone is crazy enough to read on what will be posted in future...there would be a linkage and a whole story would be known there...but at my current blogging "schedule" i guess its gonna be a long long time before the whole story would be known.